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<h1><a href="https://archiveofourown.org/works/29490441">swaying as the room burned down</a> by <a class='authorlink' href='https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisyjohnsons/pseuds/daisyjohnsons'>daisyjohnsons</a></h1>

<table class="full">

<tr><td><b>Category:</b></td><td>Agents of S.H.I.E.L.D. (TV)</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Genre:</b></td><td>Canon Compliant, F/F, F/M, Post-Canon, discussions of love!, doc titled i swear i dont like sousa/daisy, just canon if daisyjemma had kissed a couple times, rated t for language!</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Language:</b></td><td>English</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Status:</b></td><td>Completed</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Published:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Updated:</b></td><td>2021-03-05</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Packaged:</b></td><td>2021-05-16 00:07:16</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Rating:</b></td><td>Teen And Up Audiences</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Warnings:</b></td><td>No Archive Warnings Apply</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Chapters:</b></td><td>1</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Words:</b></td><td>1,683</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Publisher:</b></td><td>archiveofourown.org</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Story URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/works/29490441</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Author URL:</b></td><td>https://archiveofourown.org/users/daisyjohnsons/pseuds/daisyjohnsons</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Summary:</b></td><td><div class="userstuff">
              <p>“you love her, don’t you?”<br/>“no shit. she’s my best friend.”<br/>“but you also <i>love</i> her."<br/>daisy nods. “i think a part of me always will.”<br/>“the way you’re always going to love lincoln?”<br/>“jemma’s different. she always will be.”</p><p>or, whatever the fuck daisy and jemma have going on!</p>
            </div></td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Relationships:</b></td><td>Jemma Simmons/Skye | Daisy Johnson, Skye | Daisy Johnson/Daniel Sousa</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Comments:</b></td><td>4</td></tr>

<tr><td><b>Kudos:</b></td><td>17</td></tr>

</table>

<a name="section0001"><h2>swaying as the room burned down</h2></a>
<div class="story"><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_head_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><ul class="associations">
      <li>For <a href="https://archiveofourown.org/users/and_hera/gifts">and_hera</a>.</li>



    </ul><blockquote class="userstuff">
      <p>hello. jules, my best friend and my greatest enemy, made a daisyjemma playlist that is just taylor swift so i blame them for this.</p>
    </blockquote></div><div class="userstuff module">
    
    <p>Daisy is once again sitting in front of the large window in the ship, watching a supernova. </p><p>It’s funny to her. People on Earth see supernovas as rare events and Daisy sees one at least once a week now. The frequency doesn’t make them any less lovely, but it does make her rely on them that much more. It’s insane. She’s been in space for a month, and these moments have become such a fundamental part of her. Watching the lights makes her feel whole, in a way. It doesn’t make sense, but it does to her. So she actively seeks out supernovas and makes sure their missions are all nearby. </p><p>Kora has joined her to watch them a few times. It’s reassuring, knowing she understands. It’s weird, knowing Daisy could’ve had this relationship all along. <em> Should’ve </em>had this relationship all along. This unspoken understanding compares to no other thing Daisy has ever known. They don’t talk much other than this; Kora has so much to process, but she knows Daisy is there if she needs her. That’s enough.</p><p>This morning’s supernova is colored blue and purple. It’s beautiful, different than all the others, yet so similar in the way it makes Daisy feel. Like the universe is out there, in front of her, and she’s playing a part in it. </p><p>This morning, Sousa is sitting across from her, leaned against the wall. She thinks he wants to say something, but he doesn’t so much as look at her. He just stares out the window and watches their version of a sunrise.</p><p>When it’s fading, he turns to look at her and now she knows there’s something he <em> definitely </em> wants to say. </p><p>“What is it?” Daisy asks.</p><p>“You left your comms log open,” he responds. “Why haven’t you answered Simmons?”</p><p>Daisy bristles. “I have.”</p><p>“Two weeks ago. She’s called everyday.”</p><p>“We’ve been busy,” she mutters, and brings her knees to her chest. She remembers that call. Her snap of: <em> How old exactly is Ayla? How long did you leave us alone to suffer? </em> and the following: <em> Daisy, I didn’t leave you to suffer, I knew everything would be alright </em>—</p><p>Sousa sighs and slouches a little heavier against the wall. “You don’t seem like a petty person, Johnson. Why are you being petty?”</p><p>“I’m not. We <em> have </em> been busy.”</p><p>“No, <em> you’ve </em> been busy roughhousing with any alien that looks at you the wrong way.”</p><p>“We do have a job to do, you know.”</p><p>“And what is that,” Sousa asks. “What is our job up here? Because I was never told we have an agenda. You asked me if I would go to space with you and I said yes. But you never told me exactly <em> what </em>we’re doing.”</p><p>With a sigh, Daisy says, “Mack wanted people exploring space to make sure we have a warning in case some other alien super power decides Earth is worth a damn. I decided I wasn’t done with space. Here we are.”</p><p>“Or are you running?”</p><p>Daisy startles at that and Sousa raises his hands in a sort of surrender. “Not being snippy, just pointing something out. You left everyone you love behind to come out here and for what, exactly? Any agent could’ve done this.”</p><p>“Not <em> everyone </em>I love,” Daisy responds. “You and Kora are here. That’s all I really need.”</p><p>Sousa is taken aback for a second and Daisy remembers that they only started saying <em> I love you </em> recently, and that this man is from decades ago where public affection was taboo. It takes him a second to recover, but he does. “Johnson.”</p><p>“Sousa.”</p><p>“I might be from a different decade, but I’m not stupid. I saw how you looked at Simmons.”</p><p>Daisy slouches in surrender to that, because why is she even hiding it from him? Lincoln knew. Not that there was anything to really <em> know </em> . It’s not like her and Simmons were ever <em> something </em>. At least, not something that they talked about. “Alright, fine. What’s your question? Your real one?”</p><p>“Did you leave because of her? Is that why you aren’t answering her calls?”</p><p>Daisy laughs, and it feels even more fake than any undercover mission she’s ever done. “You know, Jemma once told me I love like it’s the end of the world. She says Fitz does, too.”</p><p>Sousa just nods, but she watches him take note of her use of <em> Jemma </em>. </p><p>“Well, if I love like it’s the end of the world, Jemma loves like it’s the beginning of one. She loves so strongly and so much it’s like she could make the universe and then conquer it a million times over.” She looks out at the galaxy around their ship and smiles. “She loves enough to create thousands of stars like these.”</p><p>“You love her, don’t you?”</p><p>“No shit. She’s my best friend.”</p><p>“But you also <em> love </em> her.”</p><p>Daisy nods. “I think a part of me always will.”</p><p>“The way you’re always going to love Lincoln?”</p><p>She remembers that talk. When she explained to him the love that was bigger and deeper than herself, the love that changed her for the better, and the loss that left her on the ground. </p><p>“Jemma’s different. She always will be.”</p><p>Sousa, as much as he looks confused, looks just as willing to try and understand what she’s saying. </p><p>“Think you can love someone with this many people in her heart?” Daisy tries to hide just how worried she is about his answer.</p><p>Sousa smiles, then grins. “Everyone I’ve ever loved has had a heart bigger than themselves. It’s not a surprise that you’re no different.” </p><p>Daisy scoffs, just a little, just enough to hide her relief. </p><p>“You can talk about it, if you want,” Sousa says, very obviously testing the waters. “The way you talk about it… it doesn’t seem like it’s over.”</p><p>Daisy sighs and settles back against the metal wall. She weighs her options in her hands and settles on telling him, mostly to just say everything out loud for once. It seems… foreign. Talking about her and Jemma. Everyone had always known about their <em> thing </em>, but no one brought it up. Daisy doesn’t exactly know why, she just knows the closest it got to being brought up was when Piper walked into Jemma’s room for an emergency and found Jemma curled into Daisy’s chest and Daisy’s arms wrapped around her in return.</p><p>“Well, I don’t really know when it started, but she <em> is </em> my best friend. Like it’s not a ‘I’m denying my feelings by calling her my friend’ thing, she’s my best friend and always will be. It’s just so intertwined with our friendship, I don’t think we could ever be normal friends. Not like I am with Mack.” She sighs. “I do love her. And I <em> love </em> her. But she’s always had Fitz, and she’s had him for so many more years than she’s had me, so I never expected her to choose me over him. I never wanted her to.”</p><p>“Isn’t that—” Sousa clears his throat, like an unspoken apology for interrupting. “Isn’t that a bit unhealthy? Going into something like this knowing it won’t end well? It’s like running into a burning building with no equipment.”</p><p>Daisy shrugs. “I never saw it that way. Maybe it’s because I had Lincoln, and then I felt too guilty to even think about someone else, and now I have you—” she grins when she sees that her words have made Sousa blush. “—but it was always just me and Jemma. Jemma and I. We didn’t have words for it.”</p><p>“You’re referring to <em> it </em> in the past tense, but you say you still love her.”</p><p>Another shrug. “Well, it’s not like she <em> can </em> love me like that anymore. Fucks sake, she’s a <em> mother </em> . She left for <em> years </em> and she became a <em> mom </em> , and maybe she had time to process and deal with <em> us </em> , but I haven’t. So yeah, I still love her. But <em> it </em> might as well be dead.”</p><p>Sousa nods, slowly. “I don’t mean to be condescending at all.”</p><p>“You aren’t.”</p><p>“That’s good to hear, but probably won’t last long. Daisy, how do you feel about that? Her leaving?”</p><p>“Okay, well <em> now </em>you sound like a shrink.”</p><p>“It’s a valid question,” he protests. “Daisy you’ve been carrying something with you since the day I met you. I thought it was Lincoln, but you seem like you’re doing okay with that.”</p><p>“I am,” Daisy says, starting to get defensive, and Sousa immediately notices, and raises his hands. </p><p>“Hey, I know that.”</p><p>“And it’s not <em> okay, </em>I’ve just gotten used to living with it.” She’s borderline snapping at him now, but she thinks it’s okay, maybe. </p><p>Sousa pauses, then nods again. “I know that feeling better than you think.”</p><p>She feels the metaphorical hair on her neck start to lay down and Sousa continues his previous train of thought. “Like I said, I thought it was Lincoln. Now, I’m pretty sure that it’s Simmons.”</p><p>“Maybe it is.”</p><p>“You love her and she left you alone for years, Daisy, that’s not nothing.”</p><p>“No, it isn’t.” Daisy sighs and looks back out the window. There are remnants of blue and purple, still dancing around each other. “And I don’t know what to do about it. I mean, what’s she supposed to do? She’s happy, I’m happy, it just seems like we were never meant to be happy <em> together </em>. Like, what do you do with that? I’m not going to dig up a grave just to make myself feel better. Not now.”</p><p>She sees Sousa moving out of the corner of her eye, and while she usually looks towards every movement she sees, tracking it like May taught her to, she doesn’t feel like she has to with him. He sits down next to her and she waits a moment before leaning her head on his shoulder. “Do you regret any of it? Even though it was never going to end well, would you do it differently?”</p><p>She sighs. “No. No I wouldn’t.”</p><p>He nods, and they sit there, together, and watch the supernova end. </p>
  </div><div class="fff_chapter_notes fff_foot_notes"><b>Author's Note:</b><blockquote class="userstuff"><p>hello again. daisyjemma [yells]. if u would like to follow or talk to me i am @dcisyjohnsons on twitter!</p></blockquote></div></div>
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